Growing Up

As I reminisce over my childhood I realize that I am no longer the carefree, loving child I once was. I've turned into a teenager who is full of anxiety and living due-date to due-date. The nap times and coloring books have been replaced by energy drinks and text books. The carelessness and the bliss of innocence seems to have vanished completely from my being, being replaced by textbook facts and worries. 

 When I was a little girl I received a barbie jeep from my grandfather. I thought I was the coolest kid on the block riding my hot pink jeep around the subdivision while wearing heart shaped sunglasses. I remember looking from my jeep to the actual road and feeling envious of the people driving their fast cars. I dreamed of one day driving the lifted trucks that passed by me. All I wanted as a child, was to be a grown up. I wanted to drive adult sized cars, go to the pool with my friends without my parents present and most of all, for some reason, I wanted to go alone to the mall.

Now as a sixteen year old I can do all of those activities, most of which are not as interesting and entertaining as I once dreamed they would be. The pleasure from driving is only driven away by the high price of gas. I do admit though that going to the pool is as much fun as I had envisioned. My parent's fear of me getting hurt at the pool has slowly dissipated as I grew older. It's nice to get away from my parent's radar and have fun with my friends at the pool. The biggest disappointment was going to the mall alone. Instead of buying what I wanted and just enjoying a shopping spree, I learned shopping alone is really awkward and embarrassing. I find the people at the kiosks are much more likely to talk to you when you are walking alone rather than when you are with other people. I miss being a little girl, although having the independence of adulthood is a very new and very refreshing experience that I may learn to appreciate one day when I'm an old woman and unable to take care of myself.